Supporting Anxious Parents: A Guide for Early Childhood Educators
Anisha Grossett • June 28, 2024
The Relationship Between Educators and Parents
It’s often easy for an early childhood educator to identify how comfortable a caregiver or a parent is with the transition of their child into their care. Within the first few interactions, the signs are visible, and this is when educators flag anxious parents as ‘helicopter parents.’ This early judgement can impact the way you interact with the family which is why it’s crucial to recognise a parent’s comfort level while also ensuring that you have the right tools to support and engage with them.
Building a line of trust between you and parents sets the tone for all future interactions. But how can you do this effectively? How can you support families with their complex worries and questions without letting it impact your day-to-day work? Here’s a guide to help you achieve just that!
The Importance of Recognising An Anxious Parent
As educators, there’s no one who understands the transition period for children and their parents quite like us. Research has suggested that parental separation anxiety can manifest in many ways and can begin as early as when the child begins school (Lees, 2022). This is why it’s important to recognise the early signs of an anxious parent and work on ways to offer them the support that they need. Empathising with parents is intrinsic to what we do.
Anxiety can manifest in different ways for parents. In the early stages of the transition period, parents usually have several questions about the routine, curriculum, eating and sleeping schedules of their children. These questions usually decrease with time and when they don’t, educators should view this as a potential sign of anxiety. This is also when you can recognise that a parent or caregiver might need additional support to manage their anxieties.
You’ll notice that as the days pass, anxious parents feel a sense of panic associated with their growing concerns. This directly has an impact on the children resulting in them missing out on classroom days without any solid explanation. As professionals, we need to chart a course of action to ensure that we can help parents deal with such overwhelming feelings and reassure them over an extended period of time.
Steps to Help Parents Overcome Their Anxieties:
1. Starting transition periods early:
It’s important to recognise that transition periods should start prior to a child entering your classroom. Speak to your supervisor regarding packages that are sent out before each child starts. Ensure that your name and your team’s name is presented on a welcome letter with a quick introduction. This small detail will allow parents to feel included during this transition period. Always remember it is important for families to feel connected with their child’s educator.
2. Communication is key:
During the transition period, you will need to be extremely attentive to parents. Ensure that you engage with them every day and provide an accurate and in-depth overview of their child’s day. It is important that the parent feels heard and understood. Address each concern with a possible solution and let them know that it is normal to feel anxious during this period. A useful strategy is to use the positive, negative, and positive rule when interacting with a new family. While it is important to provide accurate information, we do not want to overwhelm parents with the negative.
Here’s a good example: “Johnny had a great morning! We were able to get him to sit at the table for breakfast, he did cry during nap time and didn’t sleep much however he engaged well in the afternoon and began exploring the playground with his peers.”
As the days pass, remember to share a child’s wins with their parents. This directly allows parents to still feel connected and an active part of their child’s learning and development despite not being physically present. Show that you are taking the time to learn about their child by asking the right questions. What do you do at home when he cries? What activities does he enjoy at home? What has his sleep/eating schedule been like? These are great questions to let parents know that you are committed to their child’s well-being.
3. Using technology as an aid:
The advancement of technology can immensely support educators while dealing with parental anxiety and childcare. Use relevant apps, tools and technology to stay connected with families and offer them the reassurance that they need.
Always ensure your reports are up to date and accurate and try including pictures and videos of the child spending their day in your classroom. This will provide parents instant relief as they get a chance to observe their child in their absence. It’s also an easy way for them to check in throughout the day and communicate with the classroom educator as needed.
Remember, it all gets better with time!
Separation anxiety can impact everyone including the child, the parent, educators and sometimes even other children in the classroom. Despite this hurdle, it is important to focus on the fact that it can resolve itself with time and patience. Use resources, peers, and leaders to support you in difficult moments and ensure you recognise your own stressors first in new situations before you extend support to others. You are just as important in this journey and deserve to give yourself the attention that is needed to feel prepared to tackle anxious parents.
While it’s always delightful to interact with children and their parents who require little to no transition time, it’s more likely that we will be engaging with the ones that do need additional support. Feeling a sense of nervousness while starting a childcare journey is only natural but with the right kind of guidance from an educator, parents can leave their anxieties behind. Together, you can ensure that every child has access to the support and encouragement they need to thrive.
References:
Coping with separation anxiety: Parenting - CCCF. Canadian Child Care Federation. (2023). https://cccf-fcsge.ca/ece-resources/topics/preparing-the-learning-environment/coping-separation-anxiety
Cpi. (2022, July 19). Beyond the student: How educators can help alleviate parental anxiety: Crisis prevention institute (CPI). Crisis Prevention Institute. https://www.crisisprevention.com/en-CA/How-Educators-Can-Help-Alleviate-Parental-Anxiety
Lees, E. (2022a, May 5). What is parental separation anxiety? https://happiful.com/parentalanxiety
Lorina, L. (2017, February 3). Supporting families with separation anxiety in childcare. Aussie Childcare Network. https://aussiechildcarenetwork.com.au/articles/childcare-articles/supporting-families-with-separation-anxiety-in-childcare
Finding Joy and Purpose in the Middle of the Year Somewhere between the excitement of September and the promise of summer, there’s February — the quiet stretch in the middle. The new-year energy has faded, the routines feel repetitive, and many educators find themselves just trying to make it to the next long weekend. If you’ve been feeling that way lately, you’re not alone. This season can be one of the hardest in early childhood education — the weather’s cold, the classrooms are busy, and energy levels are low. But this moment also offers something powerful: an invitation to pause, reflect, and reignite your passion for why you started in this field in the first place.
Every January, we make promises. To eat better. To plan more. To do more. But this year, I want to invite you to make a different kind of promise — one that centers you. Because before you can nurture others, you must nurture yourself. And as early childhood educators, you are the heartbeat of the classroom. You are the tool, the connection, the comfort, and the calm that every child looks to. Your well-being, your energy, your spark — these are the most powerful instruments you bring into your work each day. So what if this was the year you decided to refill your own cup first?