ECE Success Strategies: Move From Conflict to Connection with Susannah Margison
Anisha Grossett • February 29, 2024
Susannah Margison is a conflict strategist, life coach, and lawyer who empowers her clients to overcome conflict and access their ability to level up in a crisis. She offers valuable guidance for early childhood educators and leaders in handling conflict with grace and confidence. Read on for strategies to not only navigate conflict but embrace it as an opportunity for growth and connection.
Tell us about your role and how you help people and companies overcome conflict:
I started my career as a trial lawyer, but the most rewarding moments were when I could set aside the lawyer persona and speak to clients human to human. I decided to focus my work on strategies to prevent problems and respond to conflict more effectively. Instead of fixing an issue and walking away, I wanted to bring people together and address root causes.
Now, I work with individuals and businesses as a conflict strategist and coach. As a coach, I help people work through conflict or manage a crisis. I consult with companies to provide training or meet with individuals or teams experiencing conflict. Sometimes I'll go in and evaluate what's happening in the organization, looking at the big picture and troubleshooting recurring problems. I can help them draft a response to a complaint or evaluate why customers are leaving their company.
Why do people struggle to face conflict in the workplace?
Conflict starts brewing when people are anxious and don't feel safe. Many factors can influence employee experience. One thing I look for is strong leadership. If leadership isn't strong, you'll see conflict among employees. Another issue that creates conflict is categories. When employees are sorted into cliques or different groups, it becomes an us vs. them mentality.
The most significant paradigm shift needed is for people to realize that conflict doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
I would prefer employees talk to their leaders about an issue so it can be investigated and appropriate interventions can be made before it gets out of hand. Problems often arise when there isn't open communication between employees and leadership. Leaders need to let their team know it is safe to communicate openly.
What are your top tips for educators tackling conflict in the classroom?
Conflict is upsetting, and when people get upset, they often jump to conclusions without looking at the complete picture. Educators need to take a moment to understand the full scope of what's happening and determine if more information is necessary to understand the conflict.
Conflict among colleagues can be tricky. Sometimes, you have a person who isn't doing anything wrong on paper, but they bring a negative vibe or energy. Speaking to them gently but directly about the experience they're creating is helpful. Employees who genuinely care about the workplace culture may not even realize that their behavior is affecting other people and will want to do better.
If someone escalates conflict with you, it's essential to ask yourself: Who do I want to be in this moment? What do I want to model for my kids?
You can't change other people, but you can change the energy you bring when you respond to them.
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What is the best approach for educators when confronted by frustrated parents or families?
One of the best skills people can learn is acknowledging another person's experience and validating their feelings. If a parent addresses a concern with you, acknowledge their frustration. Thank them for informing you of the issue, and let them know you want to help fix the situation. Re-state their concern and ask, "Did I get that right? Did I leave anything out?"
Bring energy to the conversation that shows them you are safe and want to help. Let them know that anyone in their shoes would feel similarly. Statements like "I want to make sure this doesn't happen again" are helpful and give parents peace of mind that you will work with them to prevent further problems.
If their response seems disproportionate to the situation, keep asking questions. "I want to make sure I'm not missing something. Can you help me understand?" or "I can tell this is important to you, and I just want to get the whole picture." Then, summarize the issue and ask, "Did I get it right? Am I missing anything?" This reiterates that you respect them and care about their feelings and their child.
How can ECE leaders manage conflict more effectively?
The number one piece of advice I give leaders is to change the narrative around conflict. Conflict doesn’t have to be a bad thing! You want to have people in your organization expressing their ideas. You want to have people who disagree with you because none of us have all the answers.
You must have a culture where an employee can come to you and present a different way of thinking about an issue.
Other core components of strong leadership:
- Rules of engagement: Get everybody on the same page. Get employees together once a year or meet regularly to talk about your organization's values and culture.
- Positive rewards: Reinforce positive behaviors as often as possible. Build reward structures for great teammates and people who make the organization a better place.
- Constructive feedback: Strong leaders encourage feedback and create a culture that separates the person from the problem. Let employees know that when you're giving feedback, you're not saying they are a bad employee; you're investing in their growth.
- Transparency: Be as transparent as possible and find common ground with your staff.
- Instill Trust: Employees need to trust your expertise and judgment. Explain the rationale behind your decisions to get everyone on board. Let employees know you respect their feedback.
- Reliability: Do what you say you're going to do. Be clear about your role and how you address conflict. Let your staff know how you'll handle conflict and concerns when they are brought to you.
>> Want to take staff appreciation to the next level?
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We've all experienced individuals who become confrontational with minimal conflict. What's the best way to approach those hard-to-handle employees?
People problems always become profit problems at the end of the day. Childcare centres must have policies in place that prevent bullying and inappropriate behavior because its effects can trickle down and impact children.
If it's a one-time issue where an employee's behavior escalates, be direct and set boundaries. Work with the employee to address the concern and ensure it doesn't happen again. You need to establish clear expectations and address behavior promptly to maintain a positive environment for children.
Notice how an employee responds when you bring up concerns. These are crucial conversations where you should show each other mutual respect and agree on common goals. As a leader you can say, "I value your work here and want to see you succeed. Because of that, I need to bring up this concern with you." If they remain open to working on it, you'll know they are willing to learn and grow. If they respond by blaming others or saying one thing to you but start gossiping among staff later, those are red flags that they may not be a good fit for your organization.
If you notice employees with a consistently negative attitude, they may need motivation through positive reinforcement or tapping into their purpose as an ECE. The ECE world is hard work; it helps when employees feel recognized and find meaning in their work.
Ask educators about their future goals and how you can help support them so they know you are invested in their future success.
>> Rediscover your passion for ECE with one of our most popular workshops:
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Take the first step towards conquering conflict by attending Susannah and Anisha's workshop, where you'll gain practical tools and strategies to navigate conflict effectively and empower yourself and your team.
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Move over trips and falls and organized sports, we have a new injury inducer in town for our children and it’s starting to raise some heated debates. When we look at what’s happening with the injuries we see with children today, it’s not the same from when I was a child. I was falling out of trees, cuts and scrapes on knees and elbows from going too fast around a corner or down a hill on my bike. I was learning physics in the hands-on experiential way, so that when I was a 16 year old driving my dad’s pickup truck, I was already familiar with sliding tires and changing road conditions. I took the lessons I learned going over the handlebars and the feelings of losing control and used them to become more aware and resilient during stressful situations as I grew older into adulthood. I recently read an article online talking about emergency room injuries with children in British Columbia and the number one culprit on the list comes from E-scooter accidents. I definitely have my opinions on these scooters, but we’re not gonna dive into that one today. I want to tell you how easily these injuries can be prevented with a little bit of background education, situational awareness, and some foundational motor development. A lot of these children likely missed the opportunity of learning how to ride a bike properly, they don’t have the vestibular development and appropriate proprioceptive skills to get their balance and their coordination correctly on a scooter. If they never learned the mechanics of how to ride a bike, then how do they know that when they go around that sharp turn and hit a little bit of loose gravel that the back end might slide out a little bit. These foundational fine and gross motor skills are imperative for children to use these conveyances safely, not to mention the spatial awareness needed to navigate the world around them while travelling at high speeds. Parents often send their children out on these scooters without helmets, further exacerbating the risk level. Scooters pose a much higher risk than a traditional bike because you don't need to invest the same amount of time learning to “ride” it. The physics and mechanical lessons I learned as a child are often missed in this day and age and it’s showing up in our emergency rooms across the country.
The classroom is more than a place we work — it is a second home for both educators and the children who spend their days within it. Because of this, how our environment is designed matters deeply. Children are constantly communicating with us through their behaviour, movement, and engagement with the space. When we pause to observe what children’s actions are telling us, the environment shifts from being a pain point to becoming the third teacher. What messages does our classroom environment send to children the moment they enter the space? Listening to children when placing furniture and designing play areas is more than an act of respect — it reflects our belief that children are competent and capable learners. It acknowledges that children are active participants in their learning, not simply occupants of a room. When the environment truly meets children’s needs, we often see calmer bodies, deeper engagement, and more meaningful play. How often do we adjust the environment based on children’s cues rather than adult convenience? So, what areas within a classroom should be considered non-negotiable because they support regulation, development, and a sense of safety?